Interview with Relationship Counselor Lady Love. This interview is one in a series of expert interviews on the AccessRx.com blog. We add new interviews on a regular basis. Please see our complete list of insightful interviews
1. What are some pros and cons of being single?
The pros of being single:
- You can do whatever you want to do without answering to anyone
- You don’t have to come home to a bunch of unnecessary drama
- You can date and hang out with whomever you want
- You can spend time with friends and family during holidays (normally you have to compromise)
- Financially, you can save money because you don’t have to worry about getting gifts for him/her on occasion
- You can focus on YOU by putting your all for your career and goals
The cons of being single:
- Being single can be lonely and discouraging
- Dating can be exhausting especially for a person who is really looking for that special someone with no luck
- It can become redundant while searching for your potential mate you have to ask the same questions and if it does not work out then on to the next one
- Financially, dating can become expensive, dates have to be paid for and if you are in a relationship, so does Christmas, Valentines, and birthday gifts
2. What are some of the primary reasons couples split up? How can these circumstances be prevented? Or can’t they?
Couples split up for a number of reasons and it depends on the situation and circumstance. The number one reason would be infidelity, then trust, and finally money. Some other reasons are family drama, kids, etc. Preventing the break-up can be hard to call. Again, it depends on the situation. I could easily say take care of your mate to prevent their unfaithfulness. Unfortunately, I know of some men and women who do everything they can to satisfy their mate, only to have them cheat for their own reasons and issues.
3. What are some of the biggest challenges in the dating world today? How has this changed from 10 or 20 years ago?
The biggest challenge in dating today is that a lot of people are choosing to remain single. A lot of people do not want the unnecessary drama and issues that come with a relationship. Another challenge for some women is the issue of there being less available men and I am starting to hear a number of stories about women knowingly going after other women’ men because they cannot find one of their own. Dating has definitely changed over the past 20 years. People rarely court each other. There is barely any romance. Most men do not pay for dinners as they did in the past, everything is now split down the middle. Also, women are more independent and are making their own money and rules as far as dating. The script has definitely been flipped. I remember about 15 years ago young ladies were looking for men to take care of them. Now, I hear that women are the ones who are heads of households, owning their own businesses, homes, and multiple cars, being the ones who pay for everything. Dating has definitely changed over the years.
4. Are couples more or less committed now than they were 10 or 20 years ago? In your opinion, do people tend to give up on their relationships too soon, without putting forth enough effort to save it? Or is the reverse true: Do people hang on too long?
I would say that people are less committed in relationships in the twentieth century. I have noticed that there are a lot of single people out here and there are a lot of folks in relationships. Also, there aren’t as many married couples and a handful of the married couples are unfaithful. With all the social websites, it is easy to cheat even if it is not physical but emotional. On these sites, people can become emotionally attached to someone and it can graduate into a physical connection. I do believe that people tend to let go of their relationships sooner now than they would have 20 years ago. Our grand parents, great grand parents, and also some of our parents today are pushing great numbers of 40+ years of being married. Unfortunately, some of these marriages are not all bliss. It takes work to stay in a relationship and even more work to stay married for a number of years and remain happy. A lot of people are not willing to fight the fight for the long haul. I applaud those who can stick it out for better or for worst.
5. When you’ve found that special someone, what 3 tips should you be living by to hold onto them for the long haul?
- Trust and honesty! – They go hand in hand and should be maintained throughout the relationship because it is the most important thing that will help you continue to be happy.
- Creativity! – This is needed to keep your relationship alive and keep the spark that united you two in the first place. Continue to date, have fun and enjoy each other’s company. If the flame goes out, then so does your relationship. Ask plenty of questions. The more you know about your partner the better your relationship can become. If you don’t know them, how can you make them happy?
- Finally, love YOU!!! – If you have love for yourself, then you are able to give your love to someone else.
About Lady Love: The Love Lounge 101
I am Lady Love, here to assist and provide you with information you can use within your relationships, friendships, and dating. As a former freelance article writer for BrownSkin magazine, 15 + years of relationship experience, and through extensive research, I provide you with loads of information to help answer many questions you may have about dating, relationships, sex, love and happiness. On top of it all, I offer you honest, unbiased, no holds barred answers to your most intimate questions.
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Betty Dodson, Renowned Sexologist, Author, Feminist, Educator
Dean Osborne, Human Nature of Cheating
Dr. MP Wylie, Relationship Advisor