Life Coaching: Get In the Zone and Stay There - Part 2

Monday, June 29 2009

June 30, 2009

In part one of How to Get in The Zone and Stay There, we said “The Zone” is the third and highest stage of human potential and that in order to access it, we must grow through each of the two preceding stages. I want to walk you through that evolutionary process so you can work and play in “The Zone.”

Stage 1: Victim Consciousness

In this first stage, a person believes that something external is causing their problem(s). Dr. Michael Bernard Beckwith calls it, “To me, by it.” Victims live with anger and fear because something, over which they believe they have no control, is happening “to them.” Consequently, victims spend most of their time blaming and complaining about “it.”

Golfers infected with victim consciousness always have a story about why they didn’t play well. It was their last lesson, their equipment, the pace of play, the weather or their playing partners.

PGA Tour player Sergio Garcia revealed his victim consciousness in the 2009 Masters by blaming Augusta National for his poor play, saying the course was “tricked up.” Victims in the business world also have stories for why they aren’t successful. They blame or complain about their bosses, the system, their customers and nowadays, the economy.

In intimacy, victims blame their partners for their unhappiness. In each of these three scenarios, the victim isn’t responsible for what’s occurring in their life, something or someone else is.

Consequently, this stage is filled with drama, angst and misery, and if it is to be transcended, a person must engage in the spiritual practice of taking responsibility. That means to ask how they might be responsible for what is occurring in their lives. The essential practice here is to quit blaming and complaining and begin wondering how you are creating your life situation.

Often this takes the help of a good coach or therapist but when you do have the “aha” moment and see how your struggle is self-created, then and only then, can you take control of your life and start making changes that bring you success and happiness.

Stage 2: Creator Consciousness

Embracing the truth that we are responsible for our reality, that there are no victims and that nothing happens “to us,” empowers us to create the life we most want to live. Stage 2 is about self-mastery, taking control and making things happen. The popular movie, “The Secret,” was about this stage and Dr. Beckwith calls it, “To it, by me.” At this stage, we impose our will on “it,” aligning our thinking patterns with the laws of the universe to create the life we want.

For instance, creator-stage golfers use the laws of repetition, intention and visualization to improve their game. Almost every sports psychology book on the market is a stage 2 book. They teach you how to control your thought patterns, thereby freeing your body to execute your intentions. Business people learn to master the skills of time management, strategic planning and leadership to build successful careers. Intimate couples apply the laws of appreciation, revelation and keeping agreements to create harmony and closeness.

This stage is exhilarating because, finally, life starts to work! Realizing that we are the cause that creates the effect is incredibly liberating, yet many people never advance beyond this stage. It’s easy to get stuck here, addicted to the adrenaline of achievement.

But Stage 2, for all of its successes, is anything but effortless and flowing. Often, life is a grind, full of stress and imbalance. Though we are master creators, productive and successful, we begin wondering about our life’s purpose and if there is something beyond the daily grind.

This moment is often called a Mid-Life Crisis, and it is a tremendous gift from the universe. If we can resist the temptation to medicate this moment with a new sports car or a partner half our age, we can engage in two essential practices that can transform our lives and propel us into “The Zone.” Those practices are surrender and meditation.

Surrender doesn’t mean going soft or being a pacifist, it means yielding to the divine. It takes enormous courage to let go of control and open yourself to what wants to emerge through you, not simply by you. To surrender means to stop being the creator and allow yourself to be created. It means to step aside and allow something divine to come forward through you, and as you.

As for meditation, “The Zone” is a state of consciousness and performance where thinking stops and being takes over. In “The Zone,” the mind is quiet and peaceful and life flows without effort. And that mindless state is brought about through meditation. Additionally, meditation is the means by which we discover what wants to emerge through us and as us in the world. Put quite plainly, we can not get in “The Zone” and stay there if we don’t make surrender and mediation consistent practices in our lives.

Stage 3: Zone Consciousness

When you are in “The Zone” you are in the realm of Spirit and magic. Beckwith calls this stage, “through me, by It.” Here, miracles seem to occur because pure potentiality is realized. Trying becomes flowing and thinking becomes knowing. Our egos recede and dissolve as we allow ourselves to become an instrument of Spirit’s intention in our world.

At this stage, golf (or any sport) is played with great intentionality but with absolutely no fear because it’s not about us anymore. We aren’t playing to protect, establish or enhance our egoic self but to display our most authentic Self through golf. Concepts like competition, success, failure, winning and losing don’t exist in the consciousness of a golfer in “The Zone.” Nothing is at stake and we have no attachment to outcome.

In business, our attention is placed, not on survival or even success, but on what desires to emerge through our company or career. The passion of the zone businessman or woman is not to beat the competition, protect market share or even to get the next promotion. It’s what is Spirit’s intention for my business or career and what do I need to let go of, or become, in order for It to manifest?

In intimacy, once a couple has stopped the drama caused by blame and created a high-functioning, passionate relationship by aligning themselves with the relationship laws that govern intimacy, they begin to inquire, together, as to what deeper purpose seeks to emerge through their union. Beyond their own ecstasy and intimacy, why are they together and how can they be a vehicle to bring It into the world?

In conclusion, “The Zone” is spiritual enlightenment expressed through golf, business and/or life. It is the birthright and calling of every individual and the only question is whether or not we will commit to our personal evolution, which is the doorway into “The Zone.”

Roy Biancalana is an author, life coach and former PGA Tour player.

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roy@coachingwithroy.com
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