July 28, 2010

This interview is one in a series of expert interviews on the AccessRx.com blog. We add new interviews on a regular basis. Please see our complete list of insightful interviews

1. You believe that we live in one of the most sex-negative cultures on the planet. Can you explain what you mean by this, and why you think this is the case?

There are countless examples of our sex negative culture. Just the fact that most people are uncomfortable talking about sex, even with the people they have sex with, shows us the negative attitudes. When sex, a natural and normal part of life, is not discussed people, especially children, make the assumption that there is something wrong or bad about discussing it. This breeds shame and guilt about their natural sexual feelings and questions. Shame and guilt do not make for great sex later on in life.

2. Most couples experience varying degrees of sexual issues throughout their relationships. In your opinion, are there any circumstances in which a relationship may not be able to withstand the effects of an issue? Or are all things treatable with a little counseling and perseverance?

All couples will experience some degree of sexual issues at some point in their relationship. It is the one thing we all have in common. The factor that makes an issue most easily treatable is how quickly a couple comes into counseling for help. Too often people wait and let behavioral patterns develop for many years before seeking treatment. This does not mean the problem cannot be solved; it does however make the treatment more involved, time-consuming and effort for the couple.

3. How can individuals who are sexually inhibited learn to break out of their shell, take the lead, and/or express their desires to their partner without feeling selfish or embarrassed?

This really depends on the individual and what has caused their sexual inhibition as well as what is the motivation for the change. If the person is simply doing it to please their partner and not for their own personal growth or enjoyment, it will be difficult to break out of that shell. For many with inhibitions, the shell is a safe place for them, especially if part of the cause is related to past sexual abuse. Understanding what caused the inhibition is the first step towards making a change. Working with a therapist who specializes in sexual issues is essential.

4. How can we “learn” about all things sexual that, in theory, should come “naturally” to us?

We are fortunate to live in an age where information is so readily available. There are many wonderful books, DVD’s, and web sites that offer accurate, balanced, information about human sexuality. I frequently suggest books and DVD’s for my clients based on their individual needs and have an extensive library that I use for this purpose.

DVD’s produced by Sinclair Institute (The Better Sex Videos), and Alexander Institute (lovingsex.com) are tasteful, explicit, and accurate educational videos frequently recommended by many sex therapists. For more information check out the following web sites: www.aasect.org www.kinseyinstitute.org

5. How can a great and satisfying sex life affect other areas of a person’s life? What are the keys to achieving this type of bliss?

This piece by Laura Lim summarizes the benefits of a great sex life so well that I have included it. Regular sex is more than just fun. It can also play an important part in our physical and emotional well-being. Researchers have found that it can bolster the immune system, relieve pain, help regulate hormones, cure migraines… in fact; it does so much good we should consider “doing it” as often as possible.

1. Sex Improves Health and Happiness: Sexually active people take fewer sick leaves, are more gregarious and enjoy life more. This is the finding of Dr. Ted Mcllvenna, from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality in San Francisco, when he conducted an ongoing study of the sex lives of 90,000 American adults.
2. Sex Regulates Your Hormones: Women who have intercourse at least once a week are more likely to have normal menstrual cycles than women who are celibate or who take a “feast or famine” approach. This finding is based on research done by Dr. Winnifred Cutler, a specialist in behavioral endocrinology, and director of the Athena Institute for Women’s Wellness in Pennsylvania.
3. Sex Boosts Oestrogen: The research by Dr. Cutler, who had asked several hundred female students to keep a record of their menstrual cycles and sexual behavior, also reported that women who enjoyed regular weekly sex with a man had significantly higher levels of oestrogen in their blood than women experiencing either sporadic sex or none at all. The benefits of oestrogen are numerous: a healthy cardiovascular system, lower bad cholesterol, higher good cholesterol, more bone density and supple skin.
4. Sex Burns Calories: At least 4.2 calories per minute compared to four calories per minute playing tennis for the average woman weighing 120 lbs. That’s the estimate given by a professor of OB/Gyn at the Medical College of Wisconsin, Dr. Alfred Franger.
5. Sex Strengthens Pelvic Muscles: Martica Heaner, American fitness guru and author, believes that gripping a penis with your vagina does what Kegel exercises do; it tones and conditions the muscles of the pelvic floor. These muscles play a vital function when it comes to good posture, straighter back and flatter abdominals.
6. Sex Relieves Menstrual Cramps: Orgasms may also help to relieve period pains which are the result of the endometrial lining of the uterus being oversensitive to the hormone-like substance, prostaglandin. “These nasty hormones have a way of making the uterus go into spasm, triggering pain-inducing nerve fibers,” explains Dr. Roy Levin, a lecturer in physiology at the Sheffield University in England.
7. Sex Boosts Your Immune System: Orgasms boost infection fighting cells up by 20%, so says Dr. Dudley Chapman a gynecologist.
8. Sex Reduces Stress: “During arousal, your muscles tense; during orgasm, they twitch, and then relax completely” says sex researcher Dr. Alfred Kinsey. This may explain why the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality has found people with fulfilling sex lives are less anxious, violent, and hostile.
9. Sex Relieves Pain: In studies carried out by researchers Beverly Whipple and Barry Komisaruk from Rutgers University, New Jersey, women with conditions such as arthritis and whiplash gain a higher pain threshold through regular orgasms. Historically midwives advised women to masturbate to orgasm to relieve labor pains.
10. Sex Can Cure Headaches: A South Illinois School of Medicine study on 52 migraine sufferers reported that 16 experienced considerable relief after an orgasm and another 8 had their headaches completely gone. -  Author: Laura Lim

About Rhoda Lipscomb: TalkAboutSexTherapy.com
 

Rhoda is currently on faculty in the Sex Therapy Certification Program at the Colorado School for Family Therapy, Aurora, CO where I teach a course on sexual dysfunctions in men and women, deviance and disorders. In addition to working as a therapist in her private practice, She has worked at an agency that specialized with convicted sexual offenders. This experience gave her invaluable knowledge of a population that therapists rarely work with in private practice. Rhoda has had many years of experience working in reproductive health care in clinical settings such as several Planned Parenthood clinics around the country as well as several private doctors’ offices. Here she counseled women and men regarding such issues as contraception, sexually transmitted infections, unplanned pregnancies, and other sexual health issues.

Rhoda uses many traditional psychotherapy techniques, such as Cognitive-Behavioral, Solution-Focused, and Person-Centered Therapy as well as some non-traditional techniques like Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) to help you to envision the best in you and your partner. Whether you are struggling with sexual functioning issues such as low libido, erectile issues, inability to orgasm, or sexuality issues such as compulsive porn use and masturbation, sexual orientation, of fetish issues she can help you to live a better life and have more joy in your relationships with yourself and others.

Read more of our expert interviews:
Betty Dodson, Renowned Sexologist, Author, Feminist, Educator
Dean Osborne, Human Nature of Cheating
Dr. MP Wylie, Relationship Advisor